Lyf is beyond TEXTBOOKS 'n' POTATO CHIPS

Lyf was like a smooth ECG wave of a dead patient (afterall m an electronics engineer who relates every event to an electronic gadget :P) It was then, that i had an equal mix of hardwork, fun, happiness, sadness, anger, sincerity, love, hate etc etc.. It was then when my world revolved around textbooks and food and completely nothin beyond that...





After comin to BIM, lyf has taught me a lot..

I learnt to Wake up without my mom givin me a cup o complan...
I learnt to Wash my own socks...
I learnt to drop my own plate for cleanin after eatin...
I learnt that people can be nice only from outside...
I learnt not to shower too much of care on a friend if he doesn like it...
I learnt to accept that even NO can be an answer to a question...
I learnt that roomies can be as carin as ur family(if n only if u r lucky enuf =) )
I learnt that mom n dad can't sleep there if u don't eat here...
I learnt that u cant top the batch wherever u go...
I learnt that anythin edible is arrite if u r dead hungry (especially in a hostel)...
I learnt that all friends are not the same, each of em have their own perceptual maps...
I learnt not to be pampered...
I learnt the importance of time, not only coz it heals the pain over its period, but also coz how much ever u get of it u won be able to cope wit it in a management course...
I learnt that sweetest words from few has the sharpest sword behind...
I learnt to oversleep n undereat :P or rather viceversa at times :P...
I learnt to handle stress by laughin out at d issue...
I learnt to have control of my own lyf even my parents are not in the vicinity...


These are jus over 8 monce.. i ve 12 more to go..
n m sure lyf has much more in store to teach me!!!

Afterall, lyf is beyond textbooks n potato chips!!!

Adieu Luv!!!

O Luv, U r so volatile n lyfless!! Scientific definition of 'ENERGY', says it can neither be created nor destroyed, but it transforms from one form to another.. so are u!! but u r transformed from one heart to another! One's luv today, passes on to someone else n d next day to somebody else and the link continues. Though my mind knows this simple logic, my heart doesn't..It jus can't take d fact that, to prove this simple logic, it had to go away from me and never come back to me!! Can somethin be as minacious as u, o luv!?!?

Dear luv, how much i loved u, how much i possessed u, how much i cherished u, how many times i wud have sacrificed things for u, how many times i would have run behind u like a puppy, how unconditionally i would have wooed u??? N you do this to me?? Jus to prove this simple logic!!??!! U shifted from one heart to another.. No wonder u r heartless yourself!! u r such a mean thing on earth!!

I am soo much lost into this vicious cycle, that i keep giving it, hope i get it back sometime, someday... in d process, i have become a bankrupt emotionally!!! Now, I realise, giving alone is not love.. its mutual.. I don't mean to say that luv is a barter system, where i give somethin n get somethin in return for that.. but nor is it a charity where i alone give.. Now i am left with no more of u!! Will u turn back to me?? will you gimme atleast 10% of what i gave u, Luv??? I know, even if u can, u wont and nor will i take it!! U r heartless!! How will u understand this weepin heart's moans! No wonder people call u blind!! U can't see my sufferings.. How best could it be proved!! I don need you anymore.. I am forcing myself out of your cunning concatenation.... I am no longer a part of you.. I no longer need you and m sure so is the case wit u!!

Good Bye Luv..
Good Bye Forever..
I dont wanna see you again!!!

I strongly feel that i have enuf hearts who care for me, but many times life proves that its jus my imagination!!!

Edhuvume worth illa!!!

My Man

A long walk, holding hands with you,
A passionate kiss on ur cheeks,
Drops of heart-felt tears on your shoulders,
Late night conversation with you,
Smile on my face on hearing your name,
Few blushes when you are around,
Living just to see you live happy,
Sharing ice cream with you from the same cup,
Watching sunsets on the sea shore with you,
Putting myself in your sweater with you in winters,
Walking under one umbrella with you, in rain,
Missing you even during the time when my eye wings,
Loving you for just the way you are,
Impulsively searching for you, when a person with the same deo as urs crosses by,
Creating opportunities to talk about you, atleast by complaining about you to my friends,
Starting to like all what you like,
Hating to see all that you hate,
The pleasure of having felt very special, coz of u,
Few possessive fights with you,
A lot of innocent white lies from you,
Few songs dedicated exclusively to you,
Personifying my future to be you,
Feeling entirely secure in your presence,
A man soo completely mine!!!!
Where are you?? How much I miss u!!!!
If you already have a broken love or if you are still single, my man don't WORRY!! It is all my prayers!!!!

DEMON

She walks.....
mind nebulous...
thoughts unclear....
heart pounding......
blood freezing....
legs numb.....
lids drooping....
eyes filled with tears.....
vision stained with fears.....
Yes....
She is going to meet the demon....
the demon who has spared none....
the demon who has ruined many lives...
the demon who is still a nightmare for many....
the demon who deprives off people's happiness....
the demon who eats away the brain....
the demon who slays the emotional stability...
Yes...
She is going to meet him....
She is going to face
THE BOARD EXAMS

One Lyf.....

All these started with a small, less than an A4 size certificate that I won for a handwritin competition in class II. My parents were beaming with pride and my neighbours poured their affection on me by kissin me n huggin me. The certificate was neatly framed n beautifully hung up on the wall of my hall! The episode began... I started to write more neatly, to please my teacher... I started to win more credits, to please my parents... I started to love more passionately, to please my brother... I started to learn cookin, to please my mom... I stopped goin out wit ma friends, to please my dad's principles... I started to learn n say yes when i actually wanted to shout 'NO', to please my friends... I started to smile fakely, to please few of my(most hated) relatives... I started to compromise, to please relationships... I started to be more adamant, to please my ego... I started to be calm though i wanted to rage with anger, to please my image... I started to be formal even in confined family functions, to please my so-called future family(which my mom strongly believes could be any of my relatives' relative)... I started to ignore the presence of a lizard in the room, though m mortally scared inside to even sense their presence somewhere in the vicinity, to please the maturity of my age... I started to restrict myself to a simple smile when i actually wanted to jump, rejoice n celebrate somethin, to please my femininity... I started to learn things that i dislike the most in the world, to please my profile... I started to blow my own trumpet, to please the interviewers... N on N on N on...
So, here I am with determination at its full swing to draw a climax to this episode, letting go of my responsibilites, layin on the bed spendin lazy afternoons semiconsciously n subconsciously... though my cerebellum drenches my nerves with a sense of guilt n excavation without my knowledege ....ended up... pleasin my oneself.... shackled by the vicious cycle....

Though these are jus external factors, deep inside me n my heart, m still d raw, naive class II gal, who gets frightened by a heavy thunder & lightning and wants to catch her dad's arm sensing the ultimate feeling of security, who waves bye to ppl around, sittin on the petrol tank of her dad's bike waitin for the signal to turn green, who watches n admires every single thing on the street n describes all her fantasies to her mom, who still sucks her thumb while sleepin, who kisses her mom's soft cheeks with the cold, her own saliva soaked lips, who rolls on the floor n cries to get what she wants, who merrily sings n shouts on the road, least bothered about ppl around, who sobs n crawls on all fours outside the school gate, reluctant to get inside, who wishes herself first on her own birthday, who sleeps everynight effortlessly, who wants to grow up soon to become like her mom, who wants to use Aladdin's lamp atleast for one night to get all the chocolates n ice creams in the world, who feels sad that she alone was uninvited for her parents' wedding, who undoubtedly felt that she is always surrounded by her favourite ppl, who grabs the attention of the entire family, who misunderstood that school was d only hell on earth n college would be better................................ Leave alone a microscope, I am really cynical about even the efficiency of a nanoscope in helpin me find the original ME in me.... How i wish i could relive my past... live it on my own terms.... Gosh.... 20 winters crossed......... Its getting hard to sink in me... i but JUS HAVE ONE LYF TO LIVE!!!!


(Not that i intended to please ppl, jus wanted to voice the general feeling about life today!!!!)

I dedicate this first blog of mine to d most adorable brother on earth achchu, to my parents who encourage me in every step of my life n to my cute little best friend Amulya who has always boosted my spirits n ignited d spark in me to write one!!!! thank u dears!!!!